Three weeks until the end of the sem

Your Inner Child Is Angry

You're not an angry person. But when you don't get your way, watch out. Like a very manipulative kid, you will get what you want. Even if it takes a little kicking and screaming.

How Is Your Inner Child?

How strange. I *was* quite an angry child. More on this in another entry.

On another note, I'm seriously thinking about quitting teaching...for now. I think I've reached my saturation point after 2 1/2 years. Lines I would usually just laugh at (like gay comedians as having "hoarse whispers of broken manhood and blossoming femininity") make me turn murderous. It's not just the students, of course---who are a mix of smug, unmotivated, oblivious, and truly bright & promising. It's not just the tons of mediocre papers and the low pay. It's me realizing that, despite my good days, teaching and being a part of the academe may not really be *it* for me. I'd always suspected I was never scholarly or intellectual enough. I keep thinking of writing projects, of seeing immediate results, of not having to be responsible for the intellectual development of a bunch of people who are just 6 years younger than I am. Maybe it boils down to the fact that I have not yet found the grounding (or the maturity) to be a good teacher. At 23, I still don't know what I want to do with my life. And I want to find out and explore my options while I still have the youth and the energy to do so. On the other hand, my wanting to leave could also be another sign of immaturity, of lack of discipline and commitment, of irresponsible flightiness. My instinct tells me, though, that it's time for me to go.