A Full Week

1. Finally read Murakami's Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, after years of procrastination. And found it...long-winded. I know it's supposed to be one of his best novels, but I was disappointed, probably because I've read his other stuff, and was making a checklist of motifs in my head: search for the missing woman, check. Passive, amused, detached narrator, check. Off-beat young girl, check. Wells and cats and birds, check. Other/Dream worlds, check. The plot, with its entertaining substories involving man-skinning and zoo-massacreing, meandered a bit too much for me. I was relieved when it ended after 600+ pages. The parts I enjoyed most were those that illuminated the disintegrating relationship between Toru and his wife Kumiko, probably because they dramatized issues I continue to grapple with: How much can two people ever know about each other? How do secrets begin, intentionally or not, and can one undo the damage they cause? How can one cross over into the world that is another human being?

2. My body's been trying to get used to the new office hours -- 6 a.m. to 3 p.m. -- to no avail. I've only been on time TWICE in the past two weeks. Last Tuesday, I woke up at 8 and thought, if I go to work now I'll get there at 10, which is LUNCHTIME, oh fuck it, zzzz.

3. Gusty, rainy days. Shared an umbrella with a crush of mine (see, I knew this bulky gray Fibrella would come in handy!), and walked to the fx station huddled together while talking about old jobs, old lives. Life is made of such sweet, stolen moments.

4. A gem from Carolyn Forche's "Angel of History": Surely all art is a result of one's having been in danger, of having gone through an experience all the way to the end.

5. Had lunch at TOSH with Egay, who regaled me with stories about his (un)welcome houseguest. Had dinner at Yellow Cab with my favorite couple, Mikael and Sigh, who treated me to zombies at Cantina. I love Sundays, my friendship day.

6. I've been obsessing about Toronto these past few days: googling "Toronto+fashion+2006" and its permutations, looking for cheap 2-bedroom apartments on Craig's List and www.viewit.ca, memorizing street names on the map, asking B and my cousin Summer for tips on living there. I can't wait. I'm nearing the point of no return, the brink of a new beginning, and all those other cliches. There's no way to go but forward, in the illusion of my life as having linear direction.