Silly Things Thought and Asked While Awkwardly Assembling a Wardrobe and Desk on my Own

1. Reading a manual is like learning a new, pictographic language. Spatial reasoning and visual interpretation have never been my strong suits. Where are the words to tell me what to do?!

2. Why is the man on the Ikea manual smiling goofily, with a dialogue balloon that contains not words but pictures of a hammer, a screwdriver and nails?

3. "This side is screwed, the other one isn't." ==> where did that idiom "screwed" come from? Because if something is screwed on tightly, it's the opposite of being "screwed", right? Shouldn't the idiom go, "Dude, we're so unscrewed?"

4. [me to M]: How do you know when you've screwed it in properly? Should the head of the nail still be seen? If there's a slight resistance, should you screw it in tighter?
[both of us realizing the implications]: BWAHAHAHA!
[M]: I think someone needs to get laid soon.